Quiz #1 - I'm a Kanga!.
Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
hehehe... quite true leh. =) found this on my cousin's blog... =)
have fun!!
{ Friday, July 29 }
Implementation continues....
the big big boss came in yesterday and told me that he's really fed up with his current vendor. he says that he's quite sure he wanna implement the system that i've been working on. hmmm... now that only leaves the licensing issues that need to be sorted out. according to him, the longer we procrastinate, our current vendor for this system (not the same as his vendor) might just give in to our prices and requests... looks like it's back to work. have to do more testing.
scary man... *teeth chatters*
if my system crashes on the day on implementation, i'm done for... hehehe... *prays* pray hard that testing will be thorough.
exciting =)
just hope that he doesn't change his mind... hehe... he's quite fond of doing that... and all his staff knows that... =P
anyway... woohoo! lunch time =)
i'm so relieved that today's the last day of july... well, not exactly but it IS the last working day of july... this marks the end of my crazy month... phew... thank God for carrying me through...
scary man... *teeth chatters*
if my system crashes on the day on implementation, i'm done for... hehehe... *prays* pray hard that testing will be thorough.
exciting =)
just hope that he doesn't change his mind... hehe... he's quite fond of doing that... and all his staff knows that... =P
anyway... woohoo! lunch time =)
i'm so relieved that today's the last day of july... well, not exactly but it IS the last working day of july... this marks the end of my crazy month... phew... thank God for carrying me through...
{ }
Story #2 - Seeing or Believing?.
found this article on the internet and found it pretty interesting. short and sweet. =) hope that this simple article will bless you as we walk on in this journey of faith...
Seeing or Believing? - by Russ Lawson (from www.heartlight.com)
Well, one more day, my wife Melody and I will be flying out to Kenya, East Africa once again. It's been 8 years since we left. We are excited to return, yet we have a certain amount of apprehension.
Eight years is a long time and things have changed -- some for the better and some for the worse. We have been there, seen it all before, and have stayed in touch with friends. We have an idea what to expect, yet even with all of that contact, we know we won't truly appreciate the changes in the country until we see and experience them ourselves. That's how life is; people can try to explain things to us, yet we realize that we have to experience some things before we will truly understand them.
Our faith, however, is not based on our understanding everything; it is based on God's ability to hold us in his hands no matter where we might be. We must come to grips with the fact that we just don't have the ability to understand everything about all spiritual matters.
I don't know if you have ever noticed, but the phrase, "like unto" (in the King James Version of the Bible) is used over 30 times in the New Testament. That phrase is God literally saying, "I want to try to explain this to you in terms you might understand, so what I am trying to explain is 'kind of like' this." Some things are simply beyond our limited comprehension as humans to fully grasp, but we can respond to God with faith and let our Father reveal them to us in His time. In this case, believing is necessary for our seeing many of the things of God.
Believing is seeing!
A perfect example of this is Abraham. Paul wrote the following about him:
"When God promised Abraham that he would become the father of many nations, Abraham believed him. God had also said, "Your descendants will be as numerous as the stars," even though such a promise seemed utterly impossible! And Abraham's faith did not weaken, even though he knew that he was too old to be a father at the age of one hundred and that Sarah, his wife, had never been able to have children. Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was absolutely convinced that God was able to do anything he promised." (Romans 4:18-21 NLT)
How about you? Can you be absolutely convinced that God is able to do anything He promised? The Holy Spirit reminds us that Faith "is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." (Hebrews 11:1 NLT)
There is an old saying that goes somewhat like this, "God said it. I believe it. That settles it." How about you? How's your faith? For some folks, "seeing is believing," but for Christians (at least for me - italics mine), "believing is seeing."
May our God Bless each of us as we strive to increase our faith in His promises!
----------------------------------------
Seeing or Believing? - by Russ Lawson (from www.heartlight.com)
Well, one more day, my wife Melody and I will be flying out to Kenya, East Africa once again. It's been 8 years since we left. We are excited to return, yet we have a certain amount of apprehension.
Eight years is a long time and things have changed -- some for the better and some for the worse. We have been there, seen it all before, and have stayed in touch with friends. We have an idea what to expect, yet even with all of that contact, we know we won't truly appreciate the changes in the country until we see and experience them ourselves. That's how life is; people can try to explain things to us, yet we realize that we have to experience some things before we will truly understand them.
Our faith, however, is not based on our understanding everything; it is based on God's ability to hold us in his hands no matter where we might be. We must come to grips with the fact that we just don't have the ability to understand everything about all spiritual matters.
I don't know if you have ever noticed, but the phrase, "like unto" (in the King James Version of the Bible) is used over 30 times in the New Testament. That phrase is God literally saying, "I want to try to explain this to you in terms you might understand, so what I am trying to explain is 'kind of like' this." Some things are simply beyond our limited comprehension as humans to fully grasp, but we can respond to God with faith and let our Father reveal them to us in His time. In this case, believing is necessary for our seeing many of the things of God.
Believing is seeing!
A perfect example of this is Abraham. Paul wrote the following about him:
"When God promised Abraham that he would become the father of many nations, Abraham believed him. God had also said, "Your descendants will be as numerous as the stars," even though such a promise seemed utterly impossible! And Abraham's faith did not weaken, even though he knew that he was too old to be a father at the age of one hundred and that Sarah, his wife, had never been able to have children. Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was absolutely convinced that God was able to do anything he promised." (Romans 4:18-21 NLT)
How about you? Can you be absolutely convinced that God is able to do anything He promised? The Holy Spirit reminds us that Faith "is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." (Hebrews 11:1 NLT)
There is an old saying that goes somewhat like this, "God said it. I believe it. That settles it." How about you? How's your faith? For some folks, "seeing is believing," but for Christians (at least for me - italics mine), "believing is seeing."
May our God Bless each of us as we strive to increase our faith in His promises!
{ Thursday, July 28 }
The Healer Heals.
feel like it has been a very eventful week so far. and feel like i've done a lot of things. hmmm... not sure...
well, am at work now with absolutely nothing to do. how often do you get that? not many times can i sit at my comp and type away at my blog without trying to finish it asap.
you see, for the past like 1 year, have been customising our current system to suit the needs and requirements of our parent company so that it can be implemented in july 2005. of course, i couldn't finish it in time and the whole thing was shelved to be implemented in october 2005. and now that the system is 99% done, they realised that there're some licensing problems with our vendors. *sigh* so... now the whole thing's put on hold. put on hold also because the auditors are here...
my big big boss (not my direct boss) then mentioned that his current vendor at his company has written a software that can be bought at like just a few thousand dollars. and if we buy it, licensing would be the least of our problems. my boss and i are of course very unwilling to switch to that system coz it's so basic!!! gosh... we've not looked at the skeleton or design of the system... don't even know if the system can suit the rest of the subsidiaries even after customisation. my boss and i are most afraid of these kind of developments coz it'll be really problematic if the design of the software is not good and most is coded in spaghetti code.
anyway, here's the week so far...
had cell on monday... was a very interesting time. LT brought this personality test thing and it was pretty accurate! and most of us could guess the categories that our friends belonged to and get it right. hahaha. =) quite cool that people can see the way you work and appreciate the strengths, as well as the weaknesses that comes from the strengths. =)
tuesday went for dinner with my family...
tuesday marked the official day where my brother turned 21. hahaa. ie, his birthday la. when i reached home, chanced upon this set of sermon CDs by Ps Benny Ho. tell you, he's so good! the series is about cultivating the spiritual disciplines. has 4 CDs and the first one was on the discipline of silence and solitude. it was so amazing!!! and he was so funny. gonna try to summarize it and type it out on my blog another day when i have more time... and not in my office... haha. will digest that first... then go on to the next CD.
yesterday, met up with 2 of my secondary school friends. was cool. one of them was having some problems with her boyfriend and she was just thinking out loud. am glad was there to listen, though am not sure if i was of any help. but anyways, after i reached home, was thankful once again for this God that found me. many times, i take the good things that happen in my life for granted, thinking that that's the way it should be.
remember how i talked about trusting in God and always feeling that i don't trust in God and that i just know a lot about Him and not know Him?
come to think of it, i think i do trust God... amazing revelation when i was sending the other friend home...
one example is probably the relationship that i share with my bf. i still remember before becoming a christian that i had a lot of fears about being in a relationship. i think i wasn't exactly afraid of guys. i just don't trust them. coz maybe of all the things that i see around me that caused me to be very disappointed in them in general. that's point one, though not the main point. main point is i think that i'm just afraid of intimate, deep relationships... being vulnerable and open... to be who you are just the way you are... afraid maybe in such relationships (even very close friendships), you need to trust... and where love is, trust is... i simply couldn't trust anyone... was too afraid of being hurt... when i became a christian... i think God healed me of past hurts and past experiences. and i think being able to walk in this relationship with my bf is probably a testimony of God's healing work in my life.
ok, i'm not sure how this healing work is linked to the point that i realised that i do trust God. i think i can say that i trust God enough to allow Him entry into my life to do this wonderful work of healing. i think in healing, you need to be vulnerable... and you need to trust in the healer, that he can heal you, to allow him access to those painful areas.
awed....
awed by God's love and God's redeeming work... redeeming work not just to save you from eternal seperation... but redeeming work in your life right now... to restore... restore the things that was once lost to what He has intended them to be... to be who He intended you to be. here i can probably catch a glimpse of what is meant in Psalm 139, where a verse says that we're all fearfully and wonderfully made... and in Jeremiah 1, where God says that He knew us before we were even formed.... can you catch that glimpse?
also, guess what? my cell buddy always shared about this mysterious person that sms-es her verses out of the blue. and now i'm the next target... hmmm... buddy, did you give my number to that person? hehehe. just kidding, know you didn't. =P i sms-ed back... and yeah lor, got no reply. oh well... =)
oh, and am so happy that my buddy is accepted by TCSI!!!! woohoo!!!! all these months of waiting and uncertainty.... now things are rolling again!!!! yay!! praise God!! =D
on the side, did some shopping yesterday too. still haven't gotten a present for my brother. was thinking of a good pair of walking shoes. went to timberland at tampines mall but the one that i wanted no longer had the size i wanted them in. saw another brand merrell... AT says they're ok... hmmm... was also thinking of going to town and getting a pair of campers. think there's another timberland in town too right? will go take a look. any suggetions anyone? =)
bought also a pair of slippers... finally... coz the one i have is dying already... and bought a pair of 3-quarts!! so happy!! if you understand the shopping woes of being lynette, you'll understand why i'm always so happy to be able to buy something =P hahaha!!
simply ecstatic that C plans to get baptised at the end of august!! hurray!! hurrah!! =)
well, am at work now with absolutely nothing to do. how often do you get that? not many times can i sit at my comp and type away at my blog without trying to finish it asap.
you see, for the past like 1 year, have been customising our current system to suit the needs and requirements of our parent company so that it can be implemented in july 2005. of course, i couldn't finish it in time and the whole thing was shelved to be implemented in october 2005. and now that the system is 99% done, they realised that there're some licensing problems with our vendors. *sigh* so... now the whole thing's put on hold. put on hold also because the auditors are here...
my big big boss (not my direct boss) then mentioned that his current vendor at his company has written a software that can be bought at like just a few thousand dollars. and if we buy it, licensing would be the least of our problems. my boss and i are of course very unwilling to switch to that system coz it's so basic!!! gosh... we've not looked at the skeleton or design of the system... don't even know if the system can suit the rest of the subsidiaries even after customisation. my boss and i are most afraid of these kind of developments coz it'll be really problematic if the design of the software is not good and most is coded in spaghetti code.
anyway, here's the week so far...
had cell on monday... was a very interesting time. LT brought this personality test thing and it was pretty accurate! and most of us could guess the categories that our friends belonged to and get it right. hahaha. =) quite cool that people can see the way you work and appreciate the strengths, as well as the weaknesses that comes from the strengths. =)
tuesday went for dinner with my family...
tuesday marked the official day where my brother turned 21. hahaa. ie, his birthday la. when i reached home, chanced upon this set of sermon CDs by Ps Benny Ho. tell you, he's so good! the series is about cultivating the spiritual disciplines. has 4 CDs and the first one was on the discipline of silence and solitude. it was so amazing!!! and he was so funny. gonna try to summarize it and type it out on my blog another day when i have more time... and not in my office... haha. will digest that first... then go on to the next CD.
yesterday, met up with 2 of my secondary school friends. was cool. one of them was having some problems with her boyfriend and she was just thinking out loud. am glad was there to listen, though am not sure if i was of any help. but anyways, after i reached home, was thankful once again for this God that found me. many times, i take the good things that happen in my life for granted, thinking that that's the way it should be.
remember how i talked about trusting in God and always feeling that i don't trust in God and that i just know a lot about Him and not know Him?
come to think of it, i think i do trust God... amazing revelation when i was sending the other friend home...
one example is probably the relationship that i share with my bf. i still remember before becoming a christian that i had a lot of fears about being in a relationship. i think i wasn't exactly afraid of guys. i just don't trust them. coz maybe of all the things that i see around me that caused me to be very disappointed in them in general. that's point one, though not the main point. main point is i think that i'm just afraid of intimate, deep relationships... being vulnerable and open... to be who you are just the way you are... afraid maybe in such relationships (even very close friendships), you need to trust... and where love is, trust is... i simply couldn't trust anyone... was too afraid of being hurt... when i became a christian... i think God healed me of past hurts and past experiences. and i think being able to walk in this relationship with my bf is probably a testimony of God's healing work in my life.
ok, i'm not sure how this healing work is linked to the point that i realised that i do trust God. i think i can say that i trust God enough to allow Him entry into my life to do this wonderful work of healing. i think in healing, you need to be vulnerable... and you need to trust in the healer, that he can heal you, to allow him access to those painful areas.
awed....
awed by God's love and God's redeeming work... redeeming work not just to save you from eternal seperation... but redeeming work in your life right now... to restore... restore the things that was once lost to what He has intended them to be... to be who He intended you to be. here i can probably catch a glimpse of what is meant in Psalm 139, where a verse says that we're all fearfully and wonderfully made... and in Jeremiah 1, where God says that He knew us before we were even formed.... can you catch that glimpse?
also, guess what? my cell buddy always shared about this mysterious person that sms-es her verses out of the blue. and now i'm the next target... hmmm... buddy, did you give my number to that person? hehehe. just kidding, know you didn't. =P i sms-ed back... and yeah lor, got no reply. oh well... =)
oh, and am so happy that my buddy is accepted by TCSI!!!! woohoo!!!! all these months of waiting and uncertainty.... now things are rolling again!!!! yay!! praise God!! =D
on the side, did some shopping yesterday too. still haven't gotten a present for my brother. was thinking of a good pair of walking shoes. went to timberland at tampines mall but the one that i wanted no longer had the size i wanted them in. saw another brand merrell... AT says they're ok... hmmm... was also thinking of going to town and getting a pair of campers. think there's another timberland in town too right? will go take a look. any suggetions anyone? =)
bought also a pair of slippers... finally... coz the one i have is dying already... and bought a pair of 3-quarts!! so happy!! if you understand the shopping woes of being lynette, you'll understand why i'm always so happy to be able to buy something =P hahaha!!
-------------------------------
been thinking about C and MY a lot. really do hope and pray that God will be very real in their lives. and that the encounter weekend is not this one-off spiritual high that they experience... and hope that they'll also come to see how much God loves them.simply ecstatic that C plans to get baptised at the end of august!! hurray!! hurrah!! =)
-------------------------------
so that's how i'm feeling today... thoughtful... meaning full of thoughts... and thank God they're good thoughts. =)
{ Thursday, July 21 }
Computers are the darnest things.
guess what happened? golly...
was working on microsoft excel when it suddenly died on me by telling me that the program has performed an illegal operation. man... how typical of microsoft
now guess how much work is gone?
my entire afternoon's work is gone.
NOOOOOoooooooo!!!! *sigh*
oh well, what can i do? but thank God i've already printed a copy of half of the work that i had to hand in. so at least boss knows how much i've done.
*sigh* do remind me to press the "save" button every 10 seconds.
now, back to re-doing my work... *sob* nearly knock-off time... i'll just re-do as much as i can la... *sob sob*
was working on microsoft excel when it suddenly died on me by telling me that the program has performed an illegal operation. man... how typical of microsoft
now guess how much work is gone?
my entire afternoon's work is gone.
NOOOOOoooooooo!!!! *sigh*
oh well, what can i do? but thank God i've already printed a copy of half of the work that i had to hand in. so at least boss knows how much i've done.
*sigh* do remind me to press the "save" button every 10 seconds.
now, back to re-doing my work... *sob* nearly knock-off time... i'll just re-do as much as i can la... *sob sob*
{ Monday, July 18 }
More baffled.
hmmm... mum just came home... looks like she's angry with me too.
really baffled. don't understand. oh well....
really baffled. don't understand. oh well....
{ Sunday, July 17 }
Baffled.
find it shocking that another blog entry is up so soon? hahaha. =)
something just happened at home... needed someone to talk to... but don't know who to call.
anyways, i actually thought of starting up another blog to pour out my feelings and thoughts... guess what? i actually spent quite a while thinking of all the names that i could name my blog and all of them have already been taken. gosh... hahaha. so i gave up. hmmm... why did i want to start up another blog? don't know... guess didn't really wanna let the whole world read what's going on... was thinking of keeping it for my own... and not letting anyone else know. but after i can't get a blog started, just decided to write it down on my good ol' blog. think it's not that bad to detail down what happened... guess i just wanted to hide...
well, from my previous entry i guess you guys knew that my brother was having a chalet to celebrate his 21st birthday. was a pretty cool chalet =) but things turned a little sour towards the end between my mum and my bro. bro was angry at my mum for making herself so busy until she can't manage that she had to start ordering my bro and his friends around to get things done. my bro only wanted a simple celebration... but my mum wants to make it real big. and that's something my bro, and even myself, just cannot understand. if it is for him, then shouldn't it be done according to what he wants and not what my mum wants?
i guess that's what most oldern day people are like... they offer help, but wouldn't take no for an answer. strange isn't it? in the end the people being helped are helping the helper help themselves...
my mum wanted my brother to have a really great celebration in the way that she hoped it would be to be deemed as a great celebration. my bro just wanted something simple and small and that to him is the best celebration he can ever have. but because my mum wanted the celebration to go the way she wanted to go, she made everyone busy, especially my brother, coz she feels that since it's for my brother, he should play a part in helping her too. confusing isn't it? i'm baffled.
i guess that's called generation gap.
you know how people of old liked attending big parties and organizing them? and the bigger the party, the more successful it is deemed by people? maybe my mum grew up during a time when she wished she could have all these and couldn't, that now she wants her children to have it. but, people of our generation, don't really enjoy big events. we just like something small and cosy, where a celebration is just a gathering of loved ones to share a moment of personal joy.
maybe my mum didn't tell my brother what she thinks. she just went around getting things done. and maybe my brother didn't tell her what he wants... that he only wants a simple celebration where people can relax and talk to one another. my brother also wanted my mum to know his friends. but to my mum, i think it never crossed her mind that that's what my brother wants. and to him, i think that's how he hoped things would turn out.
another example of generation gap.
parents of old never really bothered about their children's friends. but children probably yearned for parents to know their friends coz our friends are so much part of our lives.
to me, this whole saga is just a series of miscommunication, misunderstanding and misperception. i think that's what you get for assuming too much, or trying to map past experiences to present situations.
and all these just comes to show the rift between my parents and their children, us. sometimes i feel that my mum doesn't really understand us coz things are seldom communicated. and even if things are, my mum is not listening. as in, she'll insist on having things done her way coz it's the best way... well, maybe it is... in her era
so, communication is key. not just on the party who is communicating but also the person who's listening. and one thing i learnt is to try to put ourselves in their shoes and understand where they're coming from and respond accordingly.
easier said than done? i know... i fail to listen too... but main thing is to realise it, learn from it and move on ya? =)
so what's my action plan? don't know... i think my mum will come and complain to me over dinner. i'll try to put myself in her shoes and pray that she'll understand some things that i'm trying to say.
as for my brother... *sigh* for those who pray, pls pray for him? i'm so worried that he's bottling up so my much unforgiveness and anger and bitterness in his heart over this family, especially my mum. i used to be like him actually. but i'm glad that the bible never taught us to disown our families if our parents ain't perfect. in fact, it's one of the 10 commandments to honour our parents.
at the end of the day, most parents always want the best for their kids. i think once we can get that into our heads as the truth, that we wouldn't feel so frustrated with the things that they say or do. i think we're all fortunate in a sense that we had a chance at being educated. though i have to say that some people have a chance at being literate and not educated... hahaha... maybe i'll talk about that another day. some singaporeans ah... really ah... the things they do is really "tsk tsk tsk... shame on you... to think you went to school..."
in conclusion... i'll try to put myself in my parent's shoes... and pray... pray pray pray... that they would understand the things i say... even though some things are not that nice when they're being said. but hey, love is not just about saying nice things right? it's like in hebrews 12 where God says that He disciplines us because we are his children. of course i'm not saying that i'm going to discipline my parents. i'm in completely no position to do that.
i just hope that my brother would learn to take a step back and analyse the situation as a whole and not get too caught up in anger... and i pray that God would reach out to him too... just like how He reached out to me.
you know something, i feel much better now after typing everything out and sorting out my thoughts as i type. when i started this entry, felt so discouraged and kept asking so many 'why's. though now i still feel sad, i'm better in a sense that things are not lost. sorry that this blog is a little all over the place... hope you guys get the gist of it. main aim is actually for me to say it out =) thank God for blogs.
something just happened at home... needed someone to talk to... but don't know who to call.
anyways, i actually thought of starting up another blog to pour out my feelings and thoughts... guess what? i actually spent quite a while thinking of all the names that i could name my blog and all of them have already been taken. gosh... hahaha. so i gave up. hmmm... why did i want to start up another blog? don't know... guess didn't really wanna let the whole world read what's going on... was thinking of keeping it for my own... and not letting anyone else know. but after i can't get a blog started, just decided to write it down on my good ol' blog. think it's not that bad to detail down what happened... guess i just wanted to hide...
well, from my previous entry i guess you guys knew that my brother was having a chalet to celebrate his 21st birthday. was a pretty cool chalet =) but things turned a little sour towards the end between my mum and my bro. bro was angry at my mum for making herself so busy until she can't manage that she had to start ordering my bro and his friends around to get things done. my bro only wanted a simple celebration... but my mum wants to make it real big. and that's something my bro, and even myself, just cannot understand. if it is for him, then shouldn't it be done according to what he wants and not what my mum wants?
i guess that's what most oldern day people are like... they offer help, but wouldn't take no for an answer. strange isn't it? in the end the people being helped are helping the helper help themselves...
my mum wanted my brother to have a really great celebration in the way that she hoped it would be to be deemed as a great celebration. my bro just wanted something simple and small and that to him is the best celebration he can ever have. but because my mum wanted the celebration to go the way she wanted to go, she made everyone busy, especially my brother, coz she feels that since it's for my brother, he should play a part in helping her too. confusing isn't it? i'm baffled.
i guess that's called generation gap.
you know how people of old liked attending big parties and organizing them? and the bigger the party, the more successful it is deemed by people? maybe my mum grew up during a time when she wished she could have all these and couldn't, that now she wants her children to have it. but, people of our generation, don't really enjoy big events. we just like something small and cosy, where a celebration is just a gathering of loved ones to share a moment of personal joy.
maybe my mum didn't tell my brother what she thinks. she just went around getting things done. and maybe my brother didn't tell her what he wants... that he only wants a simple celebration where people can relax and talk to one another. my brother also wanted my mum to know his friends. but to my mum, i think it never crossed her mind that that's what my brother wants. and to him, i think that's how he hoped things would turn out.
another example of generation gap.
parents of old never really bothered about their children's friends. but children probably yearned for parents to know their friends coz our friends are so much part of our lives.
to me, this whole saga is just a series of miscommunication, misunderstanding and misperception. i think that's what you get for assuming too much, or trying to map past experiences to present situations.
and all these just comes to show the rift between my parents and their children, us. sometimes i feel that my mum doesn't really understand us coz things are seldom communicated. and even if things are, my mum is not listening. as in, she'll insist on having things done her way coz it's the best way... well, maybe it is... in her era
so, communication is key. not just on the party who is communicating but also the person who's listening. and one thing i learnt is to try to put ourselves in their shoes and understand where they're coming from and respond accordingly.
easier said than done? i know... i fail to listen too... but main thing is to realise it, learn from it and move on ya? =)
so what's my action plan? don't know... i think my mum will come and complain to me over dinner. i'll try to put myself in her shoes and pray that she'll understand some things that i'm trying to say.
as for my brother... *sigh* for those who pray, pls pray for him? i'm so worried that he's bottling up so my much unforgiveness and anger and bitterness in his heart over this family, especially my mum. i used to be like him actually. but i'm glad that the bible never taught us to disown our families if our parents ain't perfect. in fact, it's one of the 10 commandments to honour our parents.
at the end of the day, most parents always want the best for their kids. i think once we can get that into our heads as the truth, that we wouldn't feel so frustrated with the things that they say or do. i think we're all fortunate in a sense that we had a chance at being educated. though i have to say that some people have a chance at being literate and not educated... hahaha... maybe i'll talk about that another day. some singaporeans ah... really ah... the things they do is really "tsk tsk tsk... shame on you... to think you went to school..."
in conclusion... i'll try to put myself in my parent's shoes... and pray... pray pray pray... that they would understand the things i say... even though some things are not that nice when they're being said. but hey, love is not just about saying nice things right? it's like in hebrews 12 where God says that He disciplines us because we are his children. of course i'm not saying that i'm going to discipline my parents. i'm in completely no position to do that.
i just hope that my brother would learn to take a step back and analyse the situation as a whole and not get too caught up in anger... and i pray that God would reach out to him too... just like how He reached out to me.
you know something, i feel much better now after typing everything out and sorting out my thoughts as i type. when i started this entry, felt so discouraged and kept asking so many 'why's. though now i still feel sad, i'm better in a sense that things are not lost. sorry that this blog is a little all over the place... hope you guys get the gist of it. main aim is actually for me to say it out =) thank God for blogs.
{ }
Just some thoughts.
stumbled upon some interesting things lately. thought i'd just put them down in words so that i won't forget.
was reading one of my friend's posts on his blog about the work of the Holy Spirit and understanding the Word of God through the Spirit's revelation. then something struck me about trusting in facts about God and trusting in God, Himself -- (If you're interested to read, click on "Darren Lim's" blog link, 6th july entry).
somehow after reading it, started to think about knowing God and knowing about God. when we read His Word, we know about Him. when we hear people share about their encounters, when we go to church and listen to sermons, we understand what's being said and we know about Him. then i started to draw a parallel with knowing my friend's friend and knowing about my friend's friend. hehe. apologise first for any bad analogies that i may draw up from this point =P i think better in pictures. =) if i've got a friend, and she keeps telling me about her friend, i'd be knowing a lot about her but not know her personally. but if my friend tells me a lot about her friend and i get introduced to her, i'd know her for myself. now, if i knew a lot about her yet don't know her, i'd probably be able to trust her... but i'll definitely have my reservations. but in the second case, i'd be more willing to trust her given that i've got a relationship with her. i guess the same goes with knowing about God and knowing God.
sometimes, i find it very challenging to trust God... yes... i know that He's in control, know that He loves me, know that He has great plans for me, know this and know that... but how much of these things i know about God actually gets translated into how much i know Him? i guess that's what makes surrendering difficult. and this fires up a desire to really want to know God for myself... for Him to be my God, my Heavenly Father... and all this can only take place if my relationship with Him goes down to a very personal level. well, not that it's not happening in my life... just that i get really lazy in spending time with God, praying, reading His Word... and i think i spend more time on the internet reading up on other people's experiences, articles and talking to friends about what God has done in their lives, than reading His Word and praying. though this makes me ask God to take me deeper into this relationship with Him, i still let myself get so busy and tired that the time left with Him is very much "sleepy" time...
well, this is actually not the first time i thought about this. and i think a lot of us can identify. realise that for me, coporate prayer time is good... but when it gets to personal prayer time, it seems to be neglected. find it easier to pray as a group... like i'll be able to think about more things... or will be able to flow better...
next point is about forgiveness. read this article called "to forgive is divine". no, it's not an article written by some christian, but one by a ST writer. if you wanna read it, you can follow this link: http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/sub/womencol/story/
0,6193,259828,00.html?
pls cut and paste the parts together... split it coz it's too long... but not sure if you can read it coz ST interactive started to charge a subscription. well, if you wanna read it and you can't, let me know, i'll email it to you.
in the article, she was looking at the subject, forgiveness. and in the article i spotted a phrase saying, "you'll know when you've forgiven someone when he/she has a safe passage through your mind." found that pretty cool. yeah... when your thoughts about this person is good and not thoughts of revenge or anger or blame, you know that you've forgiven him/her. i also remember during one cell group where we shared about forgiveness and someone asked... "what if i say that i've forgiven, and a few days later, the feelings of hurt and disappointments return and i start disliking him/her or getting angry again." and i think someone answered, "then you'll have to forgive him/her again."
thinking about this also brings me back to a sermon preached some time ago where the pastor said that forgiveness is a choice, as well as a commitment. thought that was put very well... though you might feel angry or hurt again, it's a commitment to always choose to forgive whenever you feel that way. forgiving doesn't mean that the pain is no longer there... i guess it's releasing yourself from all that hurt and pain so that healing can start its work. i think that holding on to a grudge, or clinging on to your entitlement to remain angry or hurt, can be like poison that saps your energy and emotions and even the hope that you have for the future.
when we go against God... God gets hurt... but God chose to forgive and He committed Himself to forgiving us... and He also looks toward the bigger plan that He has for each one of us. isn't it amazing? this forgiveness is extended to us... we just have to receive it. how much have i received His forgiveness for myself? that i may find His healing power of forgiveness to keep forgiving the people who've hurt me before?
coming away from this topic of trust and forgiveness, stumbled upon this bible verse that's pretty cool...
"The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old."
Proverbs 20:29 (NIV)
the bible says that young people are full of energy and vigour. and the old is full of wisdom "produced" from their experience. i just hope that as we all go about doing many things at our age, that we will stop and reflect, and let God use and turn these experiences into wisdom. =)
have been really busy this month... my july days are nearly packed to an overflowing already. there're 5 weekends this month and 4 are completely burnt out. there was the gatway cities youth convention, encounter weekend, then my brother's birthday chalet and a bake cookies session with the touchkidz children. the cookies will be sold the next day to raise funds for TCS coz the topic for the month of july for the children is "working for God, serving the needy". just feel pretty tired as we enter into the 2nd/3rd week of july... and yeah... pray that God will use all these things that i do and turn them into wisdom when i spend time at His feet seeking after His heart. =) pray that i'd pray.... *pray*
was reading one of my friend's posts on his blog about the work of the Holy Spirit and understanding the Word of God through the Spirit's revelation. then something struck me about trusting in facts about God and trusting in God, Himself -- (If you're interested to read, click on "Darren Lim's" blog link, 6th july entry).
somehow after reading it, started to think about knowing God and knowing about God. when we read His Word, we know about Him. when we hear people share about their encounters, when we go to church and listen to sermons, we understand what's being said and we know about Him. then i started to draw a parallel with knowing my friend's friend and knowing about my friend's friend. hehe. apologise first for any bad analogies that i may draw up from this point =P i think better in pictures. =) if i've got a friend, and she keeps telling me about her friend, i'd be knowing a lot about her but not know her personally. but if my friend tells me a lot about her friend and i get introduced to her, i'd know her for myself. now, if i knew a lot about her yet don't know her, i'd probably be able to trust her... but i'll definitely have my reservations. but in the second case, i'd be more willing to trust her given that i've got a relationship with her. i guess the same goes with knowing about God and knowing God.
sometimes, i find it very challenging to trust God... yes... i know that He's in control, know that He loves me, know that He has great plans for me, know this and know that... but how much of these things i know about God actually gets translated into how much i know Him? i guess that's what makes surrendering difficult. and this fires up a desire to really want to know God for myself... for Him to be my God, my Heavenly Father... and all this can only take place if my relationship with Him goes down to a very personal level. well, not that it's not happening in my life... just that i get really lazy in spending time with God, praying, reading His Word... and i think i spend more time on the internet reading up on other people's experiences, articles and talking to friends about what God has done in their lives, than reading His Word and praying. though this makes me ask God to take me deeper into this relationship with Him, i still let myself get so busy and tired that the time left with Him is very much "sleepy" time...
well, this is actually not the first time i thought about this. and i think a lot of us can identify. realise that for me, coporate prayer time is good... but when it gets to personal prayer time, it seems to be neglected. find it easier to pray as a group... like i'll be able to think about more things... or will be able to flow better...
next point is about forgiveness. read this article called "to forgive is divine". no, it's not an article written by some christian, but one by a ST writer. if you wanna read it, you can follow this link: http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/sub/womencol/story/
0,6193,259828,00.html?
pls cut and paste the parts together... split it coz it's too long... but not sure if you can read it coz ST interactive started to charge a subscription. well, if you wanna read it and you can't, let me know, i'll email it to you.
in the article, she was looking at the subject, forgiveness. and in the article i spotted a phrase saying, "you'll know when you've forgiven someone when he/she has a safe passage through your mind." found that pretty cool. yeah... when your thoughts about this person is good and not thoughts of revenge or anger or blame, you know that you've forgiven him/her. i also remember during one cell group where we shared about forgiveness and someone asked... "what if i say that i've forgiven, and a few days later, the feelings of hurt and disappointments return and i start disliking him/her or getting angry again." and i think someone answered, "then you'll have to forgive him/her again."
thinking about this also brings me back to a sermon preached some time ago where the pastor said that forgiveness is a choice, as well as a commitment. thought that was put very well... though you might feel angry or hurt again, it's a commitment to always choose to forgive whenever you feel that way. forgiving doesn't mean that the pain is no longer there... i guess it's releasing yourself from all that hurt and pain so that healing can start its work. i think that holding on to a grudge, or clinging on to your entitlement to remain angry or hurt, can be like poison that saps your energy and emotions and even the hope that you have for the future.
when we go against God... God gets hurt... but God chose to forgive and He committed Himself to forgiving us... and He also looks toward the bigger plan that He has for each one of us. isn't it amazing? this forgiveness is extended to us... we just have to receive it. how much have i received His forgiveness for myself? that i may find His healing power of forgiveness to keep forgiving the people who've hurt me before?
coming away from this topic of trust and forgiveness, stumbled upon this bible verse that's pretty cool...
"The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old."
Proverbs 20:29 (NIV)
the bible says that young people are full of energy and vigour. and the old is full of wisdom "produced" from their experience. i just hope that as we all go about doing many things at our age, that we will stop and reflect, and let God use and turn these experiences into wisdom. =)
have been really busy this month... my july days are nearly packed to an overflowing already. there're 5 weekends this month and 4 are completely burnt out. there was the gatway cities youth convention, encounter weekend, then my brother's birthday chalet and a bake cookies session with the touchkidz children. the cookies will be sold the next day to raise funds for TCS coz the topic for the month of july for the children is "working for God, serving the needy". just feel pretty tired as we enter into the 2nd/3rd week of july... and yeah... pray that God will use all these things that i do and turn them into wisdom when i spend time at His feet seeking after His heart. =) pray that i'd pray.... *pray*
{ Tuesday, July 12 }