that's what friends are for

find it shocking that another blog entry is up so soon? hahaha. =)

something just happened at home... needed someone to talk to... but don't know who to call.

anyways, i actually thought of starting up another blog to pour out my feelings and thoughts... guess what? i actually spent quite a while thinking of all the names that i could name my blog and all of them have already been taken. gosh... hahaha. so i gave up. hmmm... why did i want to start up another blog? don't know... guess didn't really wanna let the whole world read what's going on... was thinking of keeping it for my own... and not letting anyone else know. but after i can't get a blog started, just decided to write it down on my good ol' blog. think it's not that bad to detail down what happened... guess i just wanted to hide...

well, from my previous entry i guess you guys knew that my brother was having a chalet to celebrate his 21st birthday. was a pretty cool chalet =) but things turned a little sour towards the end between my mum and my bro. bro was angry at my mum for making herself so busy until she can't manage that she had to start ordering my bro and his friends around to get things done. my bro only wanted a simple celebration... but my mum wants to make it real big. and that's something my bro, and even myself, just cannot understand. if it is for him, then shouldn't it be done according to what he wants and not what my mum wants?

i guess that's what most oldern day people are like... they offer help, but wouldn't take no for an answer. strange isn't it? in the end the people being helped are helping the helper help themselves...

my mum wanted my brother to have a really great celebration in the way that she hoped it would be to be deemed as a great celebration. my bro just wanted something simple and small and that to him is the best celebration he can ever have. but because my mum wanted the celebration to go the way she wanted to go, she made everyone busy, especially my brother, coz she feels that since it's for my brother, he should play a part in helping her too. confusing isn't it? i'm baffled.

i guess that's called generation gap.

you know how people of old liked attending big parties and organizing them? and the bigger the party, the more successful it is deemed by people? maybe my mum grew up during a time when she wished she could have all these and couldn't, that now she wants her children to have it. but, people of our generation, don't really enjoy big events. we just like something small and cosy, where a celebration is just a gathering of loved ones to share a moment of personal joy.

maybe my mum didn't tell my brother what she thinks. she just went around getting things done. and maybe my brother didn't tell her what he wants... that he only wants a simple celebration where people can relax and talk to one another. my brother also wanted my mum to know his friends. but to my mum, i think it never crossed her mind that that's what my brother wants. and to him, i think that's how he hoped things would turn out.

another example of generation gap.

parents of old never really bothered about their children's friends. but children probably yearned for parents to know their friends coz our friends are so much part of our lives.

to me, this whole saga is just a series of miscommunication, misunderstanding and misperception. i think that's what you get for assuming too much, or trying to map past experiences to present situations.

and all these just comes to show the rift between my parents and their children, us. sometimes i feel that my mum doesn't really understand us coz things are seldom communicated. and even if things are, my mum is not listening. as in, she'll insist on having things done her way coz it's the best way... well, maybe it is... in her era

so, communication is key. not just on the party who is communicating but also the person who's listening. and one thing i learnt is to try to put ourselves in their shoes and understand where they're coming from and respond accordingly.

easier said than done? i know... i fail to listen too... but main thing is to realise it, learn from it and move on ya? =)

so what's my action plan? don't know... i think my mum will come and complain to me over dinner. i'll try to put myself in her shoes and pray that she'll understand some things that i'm trying to say.

as for my brother... *sigh* for those who pray, pls pray for him? i'm so worried that he's bottling up so my much unforgiveness and anger and bitterness in his heart over this family, especially my mum. i used to be like him actually. but i'm glad that the bible never taught us to disown our families if our parents ain't perfect. in fact, it's one of the 10 commandments to honour our parents.

at the end of the day, most parents always want the best for their kids. i think once we can get that into our heads as the truth, that we wouldn't feel so frustrated with the things that they say or do. i think we're all fortunate in a sense that we had a chance at being educated. though i have to say that some people have a chance at being literate and not educated... hahaha... maybe i'll talk about that another day. some singaporeans ah... really ah... the things they do is really "tsk tsk tsk... shame on you... to think you went to school..."

in conclusion... i'll try to put myself in my parent's shoes... and pray... pray pray pray... that they would understand the things i say... even though some things are not that nice when they're being said. but hey, love is not just about saying nice things right? it's like in hebrews 12 where God says that He disciplines us because we are his children. of course i'm not saying that i'm going to discipline my parents. i'm in completely no position to do that.

i just hope that my brother would learn to take a step back and analyse the situation as a whole and not get too caught up in anger... and i pray that God would reach out to him too... just like how He reached out to me.

you know something, i feel much better now after typing everything out and sorting out my thoughts as i type. when i started this entry, felt so discouraged and kept asking so many 'why's. though now i still feel sad, i'm better in a sense that things are not lost. sorry that this blog is a little all over the place... hope you guys get the gist of it. main aim is actually for me to say it out =) thank God for blogs.

{ Sunday, July 17 }