every time i'm starting to write a new entry in my blog, i'm so tempted to say that i'm so tired.. which is always true and that's why the regularity of updates is also affected.
tiredness is really a killer.. it kills reflection. and reflection is really a very important and essential part of life. it causes us to look deeper into ourselves through God's perspective and in that finding new ways to look at things that may seem so dreary and situations that looks unsalvagable.
tiredness also kills any resolutions that i've set for myself, discipline giving way to the need for more sleep... and i get frustrated at that. and in a lifestyle like that of singaporeans, our to-do list never seems to come to an end. so then there comes priorities... and when i think abt priorities sometimes i feel sad that the things i feel are important, i have so little time to do. and sometimes i find no way out of this busy cycle.
but i guess in times like these that i feel challenged still to have a heart of thanksgiving. and it is at times like these that i thirst so much for God... to hear Him, to know He's there and to know that my labour is not in vain. nobody likes his labour to be in vain... to be wasted.. and so now, when i get tired, i'm always reminded of this verse:
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labour in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stands guard in vain. In vain you rise up early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat -- for he grants sleep to those he loves." Psalm 127:1-2
it reminds me on my reliance on God. and it reminds me that he has a plan for me too. well, it's not saying that God is going to be the one doing all the work, but it's a partnership with Him that He delights in and it is our reliance on Him that we can truly find the meaning and purpose in all that we do. and as i read verse 2, i am reminded that He loves me and desires for me to find rest! not to go about anxious and worrying and fretting whether things would come to be or not. but rather, just knowing that He desires for us to rest... to spend time with Him... to know Him... otherwise, how else will we trust Him? how else will we believe what He says? would you believe in someone whom you hardly know?
so who are you labouring for today? for yourself? or for God? for something that the rust can corrode away or something that can last forever?
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." Matthew 6:19-20
maybe one day i'll fail or lose everything... but where will my heart be? i believe that is what's most important.. will your heart also be destroyed?
and so i question... in the midst of my busy-ness... am i allowing God to build my heart? am i willing to have it built?
for they say, the very heart of the matter, is the matter of the heart.
{ Tuesday, April 3 }