stumbled upon some interesting things lately. thought i'd just put them down in words so that i won't forget.

was reading one of my friend's posts on his blog about the work of the Holy Spirit and understanding the Word of God through the Spirit's revelation. then something struck me about trusting in facts about God and trusting in God, Himself -- (If you're interested to read, click on "Darren Lim's" blog link, 6th july entry).

somehow after reading it, started to think about knowing God and knowing about God. when we read His Word, we know about Him. when we hear people share about their encounters, when we go to church and listen to sermons, we understand what's being said and we know about Him. then i started to draw a parallel with knowing my friend's friend and knowing about my friend's friend. hehe. apologise first for any bad analogies that i may draw up from this point =P i think better in pictures. =) if i've got a friend, and she keeps telling me about her friend, i'd be knowing a lot about her but not know her personally. but if my friend tells me a lot about her friend and i get introduced to her, i'd know her for myself. now, if i knew a lot about her yet don't know her, i'd probably be able to trust her... but i'll definitely have my reservations. but in the second case, i'd be more willing to trust her given that i've got a relationship with her. i guess the same goes with knowing about God and knowing God.

sometimes, i find it very challenging to trust God... yes... i know that He's in control, know that He loves me, know that He has great plans for me, know this and know that... but how much of these things i know about God actually gets translated into how much i know Him? i guess that's what makes surrendering difficult. and this fires up a desire to really want to know God for myself... for Him to be my God, my Heavenly Father... and all this can only take place if my relationship with Him goes down to a very personal level. well, not that it's not happening in my life... just that i get really lazy in spending time with God, praying, reading His Word... and i think i spend more time on the internet reading up on other people's experiences, articles and talking to friends about what God has done in their lives, than reading His Word and praying. though this makes me ask God to take me deeper into this relationship with Him, i still let myself get so busy and tired that the time left with Him is very much "sleepy" time...

well, this is actually not the first time i thought about this. and i think a lot of us can identify. realise that for me, coporate prayer time is good... but when it gets to personal prayer time, it seems to be neglected. find it easier to pray as a group... like i'll be able to think about more things... or will be able to flow better...

next point is about forgiveness. read this article called "to forgive is divine". no, it's not an article written by some christian, but one by a ST writer. if you wanna read it, you can follow this link: http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/sub/womencol/story/
0,6193,259828,00.html?
pls cut and paste the parts together... split it coz it's too long... but not sure if you can read it coz ST interactive started to charge a subscription. well, if you wanna read it and you can't, let me know, i'll email it to you.

in the article, she was looking at the subject, forgiveness. and in the article i spotted a phrase saying, "you'll know when you've forgiven someone when he/she has a safe passage through your mind." found that pretty cool. yeah... when your thoughts about this person is good and not thoughts of revenge or anger or blame, you know that you've forgiven him/her. i also remember during one cell group where we shared about forgiveness and someone asked... "what if i say that i've forgiven, and a few days later, the feelings of hurt and disappointments return and i start disliking him/her or getting angry again." and i think someone answered, "then you'll have to forgive him/her again."

thinking about this also brings me back to a sermon preached some time ago where the pastor said that forgiveness is a choice, as well as a commitment. thought that was put very well... though you might feel angry or hurt again, it's a commitment to always choose to forgive whenever you feel that way. forgiving doesn't mean that the pain is no longer there... i guess it's releasing yourself from all that hurt and pain so that healing can start its work. i think that holding on to a grudge, or clinging on to your entitlement to remain angry or hurt, can be like poison that saps your energy and emotions and even the hope that you have for the future.

when we go against God... God gets hurt... but God chose to forgive and He committed Himself to forgiving us... and He also looks toward the bigger plan that He has for each one of us. isn't it amazing? this forgiveness is extended to us... we just have to receive it. how much have i received His forgiveness for myself? that i may find His healing power of forgiveness to keep forgiving the people who've hurt me before?

coming away from this topic of trust and forgiveness, stumbled upon this bible verse that's pretty cool...

"The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old."
Proverbs 20:29 (NIV)

the bible says that young people are full of energy and vigour. and the old is full of wisdom "produced" from their experience. i just hope that as we all go about doing many things at our age, that we will stop and reflect, and let God use and turn these experiences into wisdom. =)

have been really busy this month... my july days are nearly packed to an overflowing already. there're 5 weekends this month and 4 are completely burnt out. there was the gatway cities youth convention, encounter weekend, then my brother's birthday chalet and a bake cookies session with the touchkidz children. the cookies will be sold the next day to raise funds for TCS coz the topic for the month of july for the children is "working for God, serving the needy". just feel pretty tired as we enter into the 2nd/3rd week of july... and yeah... pray that God will use all these things that i do and turn them into wisdom when i spend time at His feet seeking after His heart. =) pray that i'd pray.... *pray*

{ Tuesday, July 12 }