i don't know how to title this post... had a very burdened encounter yesterday when i was having supper with my hub... just right at the coffee shop next to the mrt station that is familiar with some of you..

we were there... our food just came and K went to buy some tissue. our drinks were already on the table and this old uncle approached our table. i was wondering what he was trying to do. he waved desperately to the drinks aunty, who was walking around, hoping that she'd notice him and then pointed to my drink and gestured to her that he wanted the same drink. then he walked back to his seat to wait for his food and drink. K returned to the table with some tissue and i told him, "that uncle over there can't speak."

"how do you know?"

and i told him what i saw he did to the drinks aunty.

then i started to cry...

i watched the uncle finish his food... sip up his drink.. and tried to start a silent conversation with the drinks aunty... and my heart just felt so burdened... so broken... i don't know how to begin to describe the feeling..

later when i went home, K asked me what was wrong and why i cried... so i told him that as i looked at the uncle... i felt so sad... i could almost feel the loneliness, the rejection, the helplessness and the hoplessness he feels. and at that point of time i could hear God say, "i love him... i love him". and i just felt so helpless that i could do nothing coz i can't talk to him and he can't talk to me... and i was desperately screaming inside, "God, he needs You... he needs You... God, you gotta reach Him... i don't how but somehow... only You know how... You have to... You have to... only in You will there be hope... only in You can he find hope..."

K shared that after i told him abt the uncle... his heart went out to him too.. i guess God was speaking to the both of us at the same time. and we ended in prayer for this uncle.

as i lay in bed thinking abt what i saw... a lot of thoughts went through my mind.

you know how i always wonder if God really does hear my prayers... well, i know He hears the prayers of other more faithful people... more holy people around me... but does He hear my prayers?? and as we prayed for this uncle... i suddenly realised that yes, God does hear my prayers... whether i feel that He does or not i had to believe He did... for if i didn't believe that He did, then the prayer for this uncle... would be one that's unfounded and one that will never be answered coz i never believed it was heard. God said that His word is true and that He hears the prayers of His saints. it's a promise. if i don't believe His promises... what else can my faith be founded on?

and because i had to believe in the promise that God hears and answers my prayers, the other promises would also have to hold true. i am beautiful in His eyes... i am cleansed... He knows me... He has a plan for me... i was not an accident...

you could call it a surge of faith... but i call it God melting my unbelief and God telling me, "you know, the world needs you... because you know Me... you need to step out in faith... and pray... the world needs hope... tell them what I told you... tell them I love them, that they're beautiful in My eyes, that I have a plan for them, that they're not an accident... testify it... tell them about Me.."

hope... have i ever told you how powerful it is?

how can one who's hopeless find hope? only when there's a reason to look forward to an end.. not just any end... but an end that is beautiful... like happy ending in stories... and this end has to be real.

when there's a purpose, there'll be an end to which the purpose leads to and when there's an end, there's hope.

God has definitely set me aside for His purpose. i may or may not be able to see or grasp my whole purpose... but i need to believe and i do believe that i am living it.

and what's this end for me? it's an end where there'll be no more tears, no more fears, no more sorrows, no more pain... where i'll stand face to face to the Person who has been telling me He loves me.

what's the end for you?

i repented for my unbelieving heart... in His grace, it has finally been touched and melted.. will you not let God touch your hearts today?

i pray that this incident or encounter will always stay in my heart... to keep it soft and ever-ready for God to use... and i pray that this encounter will remind me how deeply God longs for each of us to know Him.

and i pray that the uncle will find Him.

Jesus loves you.

{ Wednesday, November 1 }